Luvzi12

Thanks for your comment :) I think I'll post another chapter soon (one from nearer the end) as people seem to like the story.

I liked the poem! The main suggestion I have is to swap it around. I think that rather than having the two stanzas as saying something different like Suzanne suggests, ...

Hi there! I'm your reviewer today :) Firstly, I'm confused about your use of the word 'lain', did you mean 'lane', as in a country lane, or 'lain' as in, ...

One more thing, you should really review some things yourself! I'm surprsied you were able to post without reviewing things, you have to give a little to get a little ...

Nice! I really liked this poem! Especially the ending: 'Taking the same path up / Down', that was a really great line. OK, now onto the nitpicks (be warned, I'm ...

Wierdly I posted a story that is an adaptation of Hansel and Gretel [check it out if you have time please! Link is in my signature] & I also I ...

@Skins Thanks so much for the feedback! I added in all your edits to my original copy and I'm working on a few other things before I repost :) @Suzanne ...

This was really good for a first short story, you write really well. I'll go through a few nitpicks and then my overall response at the end :) People fear ...

Oh, also another point. I think you should make a decision as to whether you're going to concentrate on his family seeing him as invisible, or the fact he doesn't ...

Wind and snow blew across the almost empty streets of a slumbering New York City. Mikey jabbed his fingers under his armpits as he sat against the cold bricks of ...

Hi! This was a really good piece! I really loved all the imagery you used, you're good at descriptive writing, which is great for the reader to really picture the ...

Good story, I really enjoyed it. Just a few points to make- She makes a face like when someone steps in dog feces. Maybe this is just the American/English divide, ...

Note - I think me & Isha posted at the same time :P Isha, maybe you should read my post because I don't think you saw it before :P

Yes I loved it too! Really great work :) It wasn't at all what I expected and I found it incredibly entertaining. Sorry I don't have any critique to give, ...

Hi, I'm Emma and I'm reviewing your piece today :) I lay here. Nothing enters my mind. In the first sentence the tenses are mixed up. It should either be ...