Lsmatthews

Thanks heaps, yeah im not so good with grammar. Im learning slowly. The bird cant fly in the house. Ill make that clearer in an edit. Not enough room. Thanks ...

Hey thanks man. Ill let you know that my idea is that they are in a town, surrounded by walls, keeping out whatever is trying to get in at nightfall ...

I like it. Was quite easy to read and it kept me interested. Just a couple of little nitpicks from me. "A solitary tear streaked down my face at the ...

I like this style of writing. Some people write first person pieces and put way to much descriptive detail into their sentences. I think you introduced well to your protagonist. ...

Im going to make this a post apocalytpic/steampunk/fantasy novel. Not sure if i should have posted the prologue again but wanted to give an impression of the location and theme ...

please go back and polish up your sentences. It seems like they are rushed and in some cases more could be said. Just flesh them out a bit moreand dont ...

Thats really good. I love it. Please write the story. i will definately read it. Kids story ?? Im sure my kids will love to see it mate. What did ...

Clever. Funny how sometimes looking for the story can become the story itself. Clever work.

Other people may not like this piece, but i can tell you that its almost like a manuscript of something that happened to me not too long ago. It really ...

Ill definately let you guys know when i am going to post some more. Well into the first chapter now so when ive finished ill likely post it.

Thank you :). I'll apply it from now on.

Thank you guys. I really appreciate your comments. It's my first attempt at writing ever, well not including school. I agree it needs to be split up, but i have ...

Very very interesting. I like the style of you writing. Quite like Terry brooks whom i love to read. Im interested to learn more about these characters so i will ...

Ok guys here,s what i have so far. Please critique my style and grammar. All comments are welcome. Tonight the darkness would come with unusual haste. The days had been ...

:) i like it. Well done. I think it would be more powerfull if you stated that it was a struggle. Something that cant be helped. For example maybe instead ...