Liz

Pretty. Generally I thought your rhyme-scheme worked, and that's really good, since I find rhyming rarely works in amateur poetry. SO good job. I knew a pearl lay on the ...

Nice. A few places I found were a bit choppy, but overall I liked it. That winter weather Is here? That's a bit awkward, I'd say scrap the "weather" part. ...

It sounds more like a song, yeah. I think you could do some things to make it more poetic, though. Firstly, nit-picking Kiss me once; hurt me twice. Should be ...

Very nice. Very pretty. Some of the punctuation confused the meaning, I think. Naturally, life’s hardly All we rapture for And even though love blossoms From your stars dribbling down ...

Very nice use of aural imagery in here. I can not only see everything happening but hear it too. Very effective. I also liked your assonance in the second line, ...

Generally nice to read, with a good premise, but it does require a bit of fixing up! Your rhyme is alright, but I found some of the lines repetitive. This ...

Nice, vivid, intense. Almost to the point of being overwhelming. I think the main problem with this is, as biancarayne pointed out, much of your word-choice bogs the poem down. ...

All this time I’ve been staring beyond the window, at this wraith that won’t show its face. For years it had floated, for hours I had watched until it flicked ...

Definitely needs more empathy, and the tone of the last line is lost. I don't think it has anything to do with length, but I think the rest of your ...

I like this, the simplicity is powerful. I'd suggest reading this aloud and rethinking some of your punctuation. You've used some of the commas inappropriately and I think it breaks ...

I love the atmosphere you've created here. I'd suggest making it more effective by being more original with your word choice. Saying the sun is bright and the trees are ...

This sort of topic can be done well, but Miyaviloves and Broken Wings suggest, it's tough. If you really feel what you're writing about, then you can probably write about ...

I won't be as harsh as whence. :). This had its strong points. I think it has potential, and I enjoyed some of your lines and word choice. I would ...

This was very nice. Original with a good driving progression. I would suggest clearing up some of your punctuation to help the flow and the rhythm as well as make ...

I did like this, I found it an interesting subject if difficult to grasp at times. I agree with Claudette, the elipses were unneccessary. Use word choice to get across ...