Liz

Reasonable, but so obvious & direct I felt like you were shoving your message down my throat. They live in Russia. You don't really need to tell us that. Show ...

Repetition can really really work but first you have to think about the purpose of it. Here it just lengthens the poem. You really need to condense your work. You ...

Good content, but I felt like it was incomplete. It was flimsy in the sense that I felt like it could have been great, but it was executed in a ...

Generally love your content, though I had to read it a couple of times to get a firm grip on it which I think had a lot to do with ...

All that time I’d been staring beyond the window, at a wraith that wouldn’t show its face. For years it had floated, for years I had watched until it flicked ...

Mmm, nice. It's good to read something original. It's almost flimsy, but I guess in some ways that adds to the effect. But it’s been 365 days too much Too ...

Nice. Pretty. In some ways I felt like it was a bit over the top, in parts. The amber sun sinks into gilded hills. The land heaves a weary sigh. ...

Rightio. First of all, would you say this is a common, universal feeling of yours, to be betrayed and hurt by someone and to feel like giving up? Yes? Well, ...

Good ideas,but I think they could be great ideas if you expressed them more poetically. The syntax is very journal-entry-style, and a lot of the suggestions gadi made would make ...

OK, this could do with much fixing up. First of all, as Via said, I think it would be much more interesting if you didnt start each line with the ...

I like the fragmented nature of this piece. The first three lines were the best. I felt like it rambled to a point, and the fact that it was all ...

Overall nice, though I didnt really like the second one. Found it a bit unoriginal and it was kind of static. His writhing thought from mouth I found that a ...

Nice. Great idea. I did find it was overloaded with adjectives, for example: Fair locks flowed Down her slender back. This just weakened the poem for me. The first stanza ...

Very beautiful and truthful. Your rhyming is also appropriate and adds a lot to the poem with few exceptions. I did not recognize this Broadway star. Her eyes did not ...

Nice idea, but I think it could be better put-together. No wonder seeing as your just "scribbled it down during class"! I congratulate you for that. Ok. Love the first ...