Liz

Thanks, everyone. This was actually written for a competition with a strict word limit, so that's why I didn't get to put in as much detail as I would have ...

:) Fair enough, like I said. I get you.

hmmm...first part reminded me of Pogo's "More blah blah blah." i read it on TYWC ages ago. "oh my god. did you know i used to write? yeah and i ...

The soft, aching darkness creeping down onto the shoulders of everything enervated what you said. Slightly, ever so slightly. It still made my head clang and my headache drum faster. ...

I like it, I thought it was original and it kept me hooked. But yeah, the "Wearing the jacket around my slender sleek shoulders" sort of threw the rhythm and ...

yeah, i liked the simplicity, but i too thought it was a bit cliched on the whole. Also, the rhythm is sort of disrupted in the second half. you start ...

Hmm...I think you need more. Good concept, but it's expressed a bit unoriginally. Mainly because it's subject commonly written about. Also, take out the exclamation mark in the second stanza. ...

cage

Blue strokes which reach to sharp ditches and back up again clutter the page arrogantly, turning sincerety into a childish attempt. And lines like awkward water scoff from beneath at ...

Hekategirl...subconscious mind at work I see! :) Yeah, TYWC is sadly over. I was a faithful member but now all you see are unintelligent, two-word posts on the chatwall and ...

I like them...interesting. :)

It was okay. Pretty well-written, but fix up your spelling. didn't seem very memorable to me, it needs something original.

It stopped there because that's the end. Thanks :)

I liked it...good rhythm and all. It's just a bit awkward in parts, especially the first stanza. Just tweak it around a bit. I understand that it's meant to rhyme, ...

I loved this. It's beautiful, honest, raw, and it really hit me. Nice one.