Liz

The Killers vs. Green Day

I wear make up because I look awful without it; my lifestyle isn't the healthiest hahahha. I wear foundation, mascara, eyeliner and lipstick, and that's nothing compared to some of ...

it's okay watching people trying to be arty with huge square white plates chicken drenched in cinammin ivory rice and vibrant green bock-choy. food has its fashion did you know? ...

I like it. There were maybe a few too many parenthesis but you pulled it off pretty well. Breaking it up into stanzas seems to be a suggestion, but I ...

Nah, I like a bit of spunk in a poem. This had a nice tone. Good work.

Take out the exclamation marks. One is okay but more than that and the poem starts to feel like a bit of a joke. I didn't like the rhyme. It ...

Yeah, the first letter of each word being capatalised looks tacky. The rhyme scheme wasn't great; it just added to the cliche aspect. You have an okay concept, just try ...

I like it, but I think you told the reader a bit too much. It would have been much more effective had you shown us what you meant, and the ...

Thanks guys. No, it wasn't an assignment for school. Read some e.e.cummings, a lot of my stuff is influenced by him. As for the Paris reference, yeah, it's personal, as ...

did you see the mashedpurestewed icehailsnow (simply frozen water in different so many millions of forms) mixed up with the grass, a swimming white blanket of cold across grey and ...

Good. You have a solid concept, but it does need a bit of reworking. The first stanza's a little weak. I stand and stare at the dark night sky a ...

I'm sure if anyone's relative/friend, whatever, was about to be killed via the death penalty they'd suddenly see the injustice of it. But no, it's happening to others, which is ...

pmsing? and this is... Lucky girl :wink: I liked the poem. It's hard to pull off stream-of-consciousness and just plain rambling, but you did pretty well. Towards the end you ...

I personally think that being killed by someone is different to owning a book. You can't compare capital punishment laws and shop lifting laws. You can't really be hypothetical when ...

I skip school heaps. I don't bother with all of the faking sickness stuff, just go to the city or hang around at a friend's house o something. School just ...