Liz

Good ideas and all, but just work on the delivery. You do slip into cliches now and then, such as: His claws sharper than knives That's an extremely common simile. ...

Not the most original of ideas but that was completely overriden by the fact that you portayed it so uniquely. You captured the scene, the emotion, everything really well. Good ...

I really like this, especially the personal style of the poem. The dedication and the conversational tone really adds to the interest. So good job there. The only thing I'm ...

Great concept. You told it in a very clear tone, and the style was so simple which made it easy to read and the message apparent and powerful. Last line ...

Beautiful, especially the imagery. There was some dodgy line breakage, but overall I really liked it. Nice work.

Work on the beginning. I agree with Chevy - the final three stanzas are brilliant. I like the tone of the poem, especially in those three stanzas. The first two ...

I really like it. Personal and yet universal. Cool title and original images and analogies. Good work.

I liked it. You have interesting and comprehendable concepts and analogies. However, you sometimes slip into cliches, so be careful about that. For example... I know the darkness will swallow ...

Show, don't tell. You've got something here that a lot of people can relate to, and that's great, but you have to leave the reader guessing to make the message ...

You definitely need to be more succint. It kind of dragged on after a while. It was good though, nice concept and good connection with the reader. Just make it ...

There is a difference between choppiness and rawness and in this poem the two weren't really equal. The swearing is kind of unneccessary and seems more so because the poem ...

I love "The Catcher in the Rye", "Jane Eyre" and "The Bell Jar." Three of my favourite books. This WINTER (Australia, people) I'm trying for: "The Year Of Living Dangerously" ...

i looked through the rain, the rustling rain, with lustful silence and dark secrets in its drops. in the madness of sweet, vast ice there were deep gashes and pot ...

Nirvana vs. Deep Purple

there are tiny red scars on the insides of my arm it's hard to tell why. rolling back my sleeve i see verbs conjugated with être faintly listed on my ...