Liz

No longer. And your song is not a melody, just a bassline. I am sorry. Could I ever believe in the peace of mind that comes with boredom? I can ...

Light blushes as it spies my room, where my wings twitter at my side. My eyes are torpid, and my head echoes disgustingly, like a mongoloid. These bars do not ...

okay, for one this is too overloaded. you've weighed it down with heavy words that suffocate the poem. words like "hateful", "violent personality", "breathtaking emptiness", they need room to breathe.

i think, like emotion_less said, it could be a little condensed, but the direct repetition is nice, it adds a lot to the whole poem. the puntuation seemed a little ...

nice. you've got some awesome similes in here, it really makes the poem. i found the shifting focus a little off-putting, the way the object is sort of the first ...

i really like this, it's a brilliant concept which is very nicely executed. i think in the first line the rhythm could be a little less interrupted without the dash, ...

Oh love, I do dream of you often. Always the same: vodka stains on my dress, your teeth gritted like the night terror that grinds upon my eyes. When I ...

I suppose I was expectant. Now here is my stillborn. Oh, he breathed on my neck for a moment or two. Now, this room swings with silence. Beyond, rain echoes ...

One of, if not my favourite, poets of all time. She's not "too depressing to waste your breath on". I think people get caught up with her biographical details, which ...

I agree it seems unfinished. The concept seems sort of empty, I think it could be brought our more clearly. Maybe develop your ideas a bit more, without leaning too ...

I thought the rhyme was quite forced in place, especially at the beginning. I also think it's clear this hasn't been edited - some of the lines are clearly non ...

Great work, I really enjoyed this. I especially love the way you pinpoint specific events and seemingly unimportant experiences to make them important to the reader. The dialogue also works ...

Well, firstly your rhyming is very forced. Rhyme can be amazing if you get it right, but it can also drag your whole poem down if you get it wrong. ...

Very nice. I especially liked the first stanza, you've got some forceful imagery in there. I think maybe the second stanza could use some simplification, maybe condense your unique ideas ...

Not bad, I like the atmosphere you create. One thing I think would make this piece more effective would be if you went a bit easier on the adjectives - ...