Livinginfantasy

Love it! It was well written, and a powerful message. Bravo! And I agree with tennisprincess; interviews and more direct quotes would definitely improve this alot more... but it doesn't ...

Ted *Just finished watching Peter Pan for the billionth time!*

Bravo! As you can tell, I liked it alot. The word choice... very nice. But there's one thing... Read this aloud, please: I Don't Think Making Some Of The Words ...

Very nice, very nice indeed! Oh yeah! I'm glad she punched him! Too bad I don't think that'll solve anything... :( Any who, as I said before, Very well done. ...

First, I must say: That first stanza has got to go! Not only was it lacking, but it was confusing! I don't know if anyone else had this problem, but ...

Ahh! I've written your review but accidentally pressed the back button, and now have to start all over again! ughhh! and spills across the room in fiery animalistic passion, a ...

Hmmm... I believe that this isn't much of a poem. You should try: 1) Adding a better structure and stanzas. 2) Using metaphors, similes, the five (or maybe even six?) ...

Ahh... Much better. You still need help in showing- giving visuals to your reader- but you have the right structure down and I still hear your voice. Much better indeed. ...

That... Was... Brilliant! You captured Bella and Edward, and your writing style did fit Stephenie's quite nicely. Fav Parts! “ How’s your foot?” he asked, so low only I could ...

I LOVE IT! That was beautiful. Who said this needed a lot of work? Sure, there's always room for improvement, but in my honest opinion, this is near perfect. That ...

Hello Novice! First, I must say... Change the title. I feel it's too blunt. I don't know, I don't think it's really important, but just something to take into consideration. ...

Demeter stole the words right from under my fingertips. An aphorism I think best describes this, not a poem. But hey, that doesn't mean I don't like it! :wink: *Pokes* ...

Milk

Can you hear her crying, crying in the dark? Can you hear her whisper, pouring out her heart? You disgust me! Though I shouldn't judge. The way you treat her; ...

Bush