Livinginfantasy

Church bells methodically toll as the people silently file out. Ouch... too much description! Why not try: 'The church bells methodical toll was the only sound as the people filed ...

Oh yeah, I knew this was going to be great (judging by Part 1). You already know I love your description. I feel like I'm there. Your characters are relatable, ...

Woah! :shock: That was great! I see you've done some editing, and judging by the comments, you fixed it up quite well. The description, like everyone else has said, was ...

It's okay, but I don't think you handled the transitions very well. For example: “No. At least, not yet… I told them about what I thought about it, how much ...

Short and sweet... I like that. Like gamechnger said: umm...your third and fourth lines are the only ones that don't rhyme... maybe you tried that, i don't know its your ...

Love it! Is that Gaara playing the drums? 8/10

A/N: I wrote this quite a while ago, and now I don't even like it much. But, I do like the idea, so I posted it for any feedback as ...

Thanks everyone. I edited some of the weird wording out. This was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and I just wanted to see how it played out. Thanks for reviewing! :D

Awww... I love it! As Max said, your imagery was excellent. I think that was the best part. Your intro was gorgeous and I heard your voice throughout the whole ...

Wow! You take constructive criticism very well! You manage to enhance ypur writing and listen to everyone and take it all in while never losing your piece by changing too ...

Hi (again)! Hmmm, I have to say that content-wise, this is one of your better poems. You should try changing the intro, or just taking it out altogether. Too Overused. ...

Hey Sportgurl! Remember me? Nice job! This was a very nice poem. Like in "Bruises", I hear your voice and feel for you. I see you always manage to do ...

I'm not going to be another broken record, cause everyone else basically stole the words from under my fingertips, but yeah, this... HORR-I-BLE! And one more thing, I don't think ...

At first, I couldn't get past those two stanzas... But, I forced myself to read on, just so I could review and hope to give some helpful advice. My heart ...

Oh no. no no no no no.... For this to be taken seriously, it needs ALOT more! The previous poster gave you some great advice... follow it!