Litehawk

Rhyming was forced and rythm was a bit off.. Some of your forced rhyming caused the poem to also lose sensibility

Yesterday was today, which was tomorrow, Willows bend down to express their sorrow, Time becomes a riddle, When it doesn't go by any diferrent. Hours seem like days, And minutes ...

Here's a hint. Look at the last line, that's the riddle

Did you solve the riddle within the poem?

You've got to put more emotion into it, you're just stating rhyming facts. Come on, put feeling into it. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! (That was enthusiastic, not hostile :P)

Upon our first touch of lips, all the doubts stowed in my mind, your skin confined to my finger's tips, but still my doubts to hide behind. This line didn't ...

It really didn't make much sense. To me it feels like you threw a bunch of phrases together into a stanza, and just kept doing that the whole way through. ...

Damn dude you got a nice flow and rythm there, and some awesome imagery. I give it a gold star

We walk forwards to the field, Every man's hands concealed. - Rising smoke comes up at once, Ultimate prices on the line, Let our enemies fall but not our own, ...

Love and sadness, An undeniably perfect pair, Sweet redeeming euphoria, Mixed with deep despair. - Heartbreak makes it worse, When intamacy makes it best, Pains of love are inevitable, An ...

Harry Potter. It taught me with determination, I can slay voldemort with my magic... Now I just need to find those horcruxes

Seems more like a song doesn't it? It just has that feel to it... I give it a gold star, it was pretty deep. I agree that line "Scarred you ...

Listen to me, Whispers the voice asking for an ear, Please somebody heed my words, Can't anybody hear. - For I can only whisper, Not say, shout, exclaim, Just a ...

You have quite a bit of work to do on this piece... I really liked the last line, but the whole stanza was a mess... It was confusing, and too ...

I think I see what's going on in this story. It's not what the words are saying, or the picture it puts in your mins, bur what's underneath it. A ...