Lilyy03

Ooh! Your work all sounds really interesting. I look forward to reading some of it!

The AGPoTCToS approached the pancake, his arms outstretched and his eyes glistening with appetite. "Oh no you don't!" shouted John. He leaped towards the cannibal, but stubbed his toe and ...

Mosquito

I read the first one... It was pretty good, but as you said it was a little juvenile so I didn't really feel driven to read the rest of them. ...

managed to make climb Make climb? he emerged in his typical attire: loose fitting jeans, some dark colored t-shirt, and black boots. It is said that the exterior appearance can ...

In all these spots, and ones like them: who called themselves, Purebloods The leader of these Purebloods was called, Mesin His two closest friends were twins called, Dofur and Fosur ...

Headaches and sneezes, Shivering, aching, and cold, I wish he was here.

"Losing an essential item of clothing, certainly! People say stupid things in speeches in front of crowds all the time, with minimum embarassment--they're called politicians." - Felicity Would you be ...

Felicity to Émon : I have no idea what's going on, dear. I was rather hoping you could tell me! Felicity's answering machine : If you're one of the brats, ...

JRR Tolkien JK Rowling Philip Pullman Terry Pratchett Susan Cooper Libba Bray Diana Wynne Jones CS Lewis Garth Nix Edit: and Ursula LeGuin! How do I keep forgetting her.

Awesome! Thanks for sharing those, they're very helpful.

Phoenix

Does the reader need to be told character's height and weight in the very first paragraph? I think not. It's not a very gripping start; focus more on your characters' ...

So sad and funny, lol. But I agree, make it longer! :D

Revolution