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Re: an esquisse of the sun
Hey there! I'm here to review your poem. I have to say that this was beautiful. It has great imagery and I like your choice of words. Some nitpicks: and ...
May 28, 2010 -
Re: Decorating The Window
Hi there! What a refreshing piece. Simple and nice. Now, to the nitpicks: To make the time pass. The phrasing sounds odd here. The glitter looked like the invisible stars ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: Horatio
Hey there! Overall, this poem had a nice concept and some nice imagery, but I felt that this was something like a draft of the real piece. There's something incomplete ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: Every Day and Night
Hey there! I'm here to review your poem. Nitpicks: Every night, I dream of you. Every day, I dream to fly. The 'dream' is repeating here; perhaps try replacing the ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: Title Feedback
Sounds interesting. Either it's related to a real leopard or a war story. Starverse U-Index
May 23, 2010 -
Re: Character Answer Game [2]
Marin: Uhh...can you say that again? Creed: That makes no sense. Viola: I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER! Orion: By peanut butter you mean the butter made of peanuts or the peanut ...
May 23, 2010 -
Re: Name the Character Above You
Melanie. A girl about the age of 14. She suffers from amnesia and is desperate to find out her origin. She often daydreams and she likes watching things fly, e.g. ...
May 23, 2010 -
Re: Make Up Poor Names For Characters
Noob Saibot XDD
May 23, 2010 -
Re: Again
Halfway through my journey, I sat and traced back the lines of memories on the open palm of time. They come down, like floating bubbles, with emotions running down my ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: By Dragonfly
I liked this. It had a rather nice, light-hearted concept. The nip of the wind kissing softly, my face, For me, I'd rather put 'the nip of the wind kissing ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: What Is This?
Hi Chevy! Short and simple. Nice, but it was rather abrupt. You could have expanded more on the topic, so the reader can get the feeling of what you're trying ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: Maroon
Nice job here, Warrior Princess! I like the imagery in this poem. The sea gulls fade into the sun and call their last goodbye. It should be 'seagulls.' :) Voices ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Maze of My Rabbit
Hi there, White Rabbit! I liked this poem. It has a unique concept. Nitpicks: I lure you in with cakes, and wine Drop the comma after 'cakes.' Follow the red, ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Would You Rather?
Eat a hobos scarf X) Would you rather eat a frog or a snake?
May 16, 2010 -
Re: This is disgusting (KFC)
That's too much. *does disgusted face*
May 16, 2010