Lena.Wooldridge

If anyone could review this newer, edited version, that would be great. Lena

I think that in your attempt to prove your proficiency as a writer you succeeded in created something that ultimately says and accomplishes nothing. The entire point of writing is ...

I actually tried to base this off of the song "Red Water," by Rehab. Initially, the plot was going to be the same main character, except his neighbor is the ...

There’s this concept of the American dream that everyone around here seems to want to live up to. I can even remember my tata talking about it back when I ...

I loved this. I loved Pete's character. You did a really good job of creating a realistic little kid. My main issue was with the way in which Rachel told ...

Overall, I truly did like the way the sentences flowed. It reminded me of the phrasing in Frankenstein or The Scarlet Letter . However, in your attempt to create this ...

Thank you :)

Sorry for the overwhelming negativity of my review.

There are two proper uses for a semicolon. The first one is as a "supercomma." This is the more complicated of the two, and is less used. EXAMPLE: Rascal, the ...

Um, wow, this was really weird. 1. What is Padma's motive in killing Tim? 2. All of your semicolons ( ; ) are used incorrectly. 3. Your dialogue needs help. ...

First off, the formatting on this needs to be fixed. This is no fault of yours - YWS just sort of messes up all of your indentations and such. So ...

In the mornings, prior to the beginning of the work parade, nearly every man and zek did gather in the main plaza, and it became eminent that there were few ...

The fact that this speaks directly to the reader makes it very readable and easy to connect to. Usually I do not like works that say "you," but this is ...

I know why the hound cautiously sniffs the carcass of the sparrow, scarcely grazing the bird’s lifeless, brown feathers inquisitively with the tip of his moist nose. He is careful ...

The darkness was complete; compressing, suffocating, choking. A rule of thumb with semicolons is that both sides of the semicolon must be complete sentences. In this case, the semicolon should ...