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Re: There Goes My Life (p 1/5)
This is a short story and, yes, it is based upon the Kenny Chesney song x) There are going to be an estimated 5 parts, and this is the first. ...
Mar 8, 2010 -
Re: Only Sixteen
Hey, this is actually really good. I have a couple nitpicks. :arrow: VERB TENSE Verb tense, in case you don't already know, basically tells the reader what relative time this ...
Mar 7, 2010 -
Re: Middle Scool "love"
Hey, if this isn't an actual writing piece, then it doesn't belong in the "romantic fiction" section. This seems to be more of a rant or something. To answer all ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: Truths About Last Night... Chapter 1
So you and your friends go clubbing a lot?
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: deleted
huh?
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: deleted
Uhm, yes, you know that you are spelling "Jehovah" wrong, right? I mean, you have literary license and everything, but if you are referring to "Gods real name" or whatever, ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: Truths About Last Night... Chapter 1
I just wanted to warn you that you introduce too many characters for a first chapter. It is overwelming.. I mean, the first sentence has three.. Jeeze. Not gonna lie ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: short excerpt from my story
Just a quickie... Your first sentence is kinda.. Eh. "Adele DuPont cried at her father's funeral." Aight, I feel like you are giving away too much. Maybe make it a ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: Swimming Against the Kolyma River
The camps weren't called Kolyma, they were the Sevvostlag (northern camps), they were just along the Kolyma River. The reason he speaks out of voice is that this is kind ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: Kolyma River (p.2)
Keep in mind that the story isn't over yet... I'm sort of turning this into a novella. This is the end of chapter 2 lol.
Mar 1, 2010 -
Re: Evadyne part 2
Most of this happens way too fast.. Especially when she sees her father, who she had always thought was dead. It seems weird that she would recognize him at all. ...
Mar 1, 2010 -
Re: What REALLY Happens in Middle School Ch. 2
To be honest, this was so long and boring that I quit reading. Yeah, I know that while you are in middle school it seems like the coolest thing. But ...
Mar 1, 2010 -
Re: We Have An Emergency
Oh wow... Ummm yeah, sorry I promise I'm not a homophobe.. But yeah. This is very well written, even though there is basically no plot :) silly. I turned my ...
Mar 1, 2010 -
Re: I loved you then (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9)
Remember that when you say the word "you," you have to actually spell it out. Like at the end... with whom U wanted to share You need to spell out ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Kolyma River (p.2)
It is not really necessary to read the first part, but here is a link: Brief Synopsis of first chapter: A boy gets of the train at a GULAG work ...
Feb 28, 2010