Lena.Wooldridge

Thanks alot

Thanks

My only comment is that this goes by way too fast and is very predictable. For example: He searched for Renee furiously, but couldn't find her. He finally found her ...

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a kid who disrespects his mom. I remember a guy I used to kick it with, back in the day, named Nick or ...

It pretty much sounds like this is a personal anecdote - coming from actual experiences in your life. It almost sounds like a summary of an exciting afternoon/night you have, ...

The parts where you introduce alcohol seem sort of forced, to the point where it is not very realistic. I'm not the best reader, so I don't really understand what ...

If there’s one thing I hate now, it’s a kid who disrespects his mom. I remember a guy I used to kick it with, back in the day, named Nick ...

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a kid who disrespects his mom. I remember a guy I used to kick it with, back in the day, named Nick or ...

First off, it is well known that second person is the weakest form of narrative. There are very few cases in which it actually works and has a positive effect ...

The young man wraps his belt around his forearm slightly above the elbow, flexing so that all the veins in that area bulge. He bites one end of the belt, ...

1.1: Two months. It scares the shit out of me to even think about it. Only two little months. Two months ago, I was the same dumbass kid I've always ...

In order to get more reviews, I would suggest breaking up the paragraphs and shortening the piece all together. This is very daunting to simply look at. Remember that you ...

Hey I honestly didn't read through this all the way because I simply do not have enough time. I opened this simply because my family was among some of the ...

lifts the phone from it's receiver should be "its." The apostrophe indicates the conjunction of "it is," not the possessive form of "it." of an elder woman I'd change that ...

This is just an experiment, an excerpt from something I've been writing. It's meant to be sort of all over the place. Two months. It scares the shit out of ...