Leapy

I will agree with denj and CaitE that this was a very well written piece. The only thing that stuck out to me as odd was this: From the shadows, ...

Renee got up early; after seeing her boyfriend off to work. She had the car today- it was a cute little thing; Nissan Altima. It was the first car that ...

1. Does this make you want to read more? Yes. 2. Is there anything I could make better? Not just that, but my perfect devil of a Mistress is probably ...

This was very interesting. But to me it lacked in the end. It didn't go anywhere and didn't really make you feel a sense of ...hmm... "complete-ness" when it was ...

hoping with all he might Just a simple typo here. It should be "Her". But I completely agree with what Castle said. Its a very emotional piece and has a ...

You pack you bag Just a misspelled word it should be "Your" not "You" Its abit odd, but still mesmerizing. Im really not sure what to tell you to work ...

*cough* Yup thaz me...

I really loved this, so nicely done first off. The only thing I would suggest is in the last bit: And so I soon came to another branch In the ...

You like me and never want to leave me You lover her and can't ever leave her Just replace lover with just love Fore no one waits for someone else ...

Im no poet or anything like that, but this almost made me cry. I'm not sure if I can even critt it very well because of that fact. I really ...

In the first half there are just waaayy too many hyphens. Try to cut back on them some, maybe use semi colons instead? It could work just as easily as ...

Welcome! Im still new to this site as well, but always love meeting new people. Although, like stated above me... what are you here to help with...? O.o You might ...

I thought this was really good. You can really see everything you described clearly. It all flowed smoothly except one part: With the hidden cans, the needles in the waste ...

That was really captivating, if I must say. I really hope there is more to come like this. I loved all of your descriptions, as well as the little hidden ...

“Veronica, hand me that bag of flour there will ya?” Michael called from the register in front. The store was so much smaller then she had remembered it; only three ...