Leahweird

This piece reminds me of a cautionary tale and a history lesson. I loved it. It was really interesting to read, even though it was mostly just an overveiw of ...

I spent a lot of time wondering about the setting and the main character, so you might want to rework this to make such things more obvious. That said, I ...

I liked Kaye alot. He remined me of a pooka. That might not be what you were going for, but my mind is wired for pookas. I'm not to keen ...

Oooh this looks like it has some potential. I like how you introduced the eye-colour=power thing by having Azure tease the guards. It tells us about the world and the ...

This is very entertaining! I think you've highlighted a lot of what we go through in the creative process. It's far too easy to get distracted and discouraged, until it ...

Hello! I am in the process of creeping all your stuff, and I have a tendency to "like" everything that enjoy. I wanted to let you know that I especially ...

This poem is obviously expressing some very powerful emotions. I'm going to bring up my archnemises "show vs. tell",because this poem is comprised almost entirly of the latter. This might ...

A couple nitpicks. This line, The corsets had gotten tighter, of which many have assured her are the current fashion. struggles to make sense. I think thers an issue in ...

Yay, a title! I enjoyed this second chapter, but there are a couple things I wanted mention. The room was rather a small house spelled so the inside was large ...

This looks like it's going to be really awesome. I love Paradox! He reminds me of Dr. Who meets Chrstomanci, which could be really epic. I like how you had ...

Well, you've got me interested. You do have some minor problems though. Mostly with set up. It seems like you are dumping the reader right into the story. SOmetimes that ...

I've only been in one serious relationship myself, but I think believing in "sappy" ideas is important. Part of falling in love is finding what it is that inspired all ...

I really liked this piece, but it has some problems, mostly with pacing. Your trying to shove teh entire process of falling in love into a very small space. I ...

The first paragraph confused me. Hasn't it only been a few weeks since Delilah's accident? Camden implied she hadn't been to school for years. You need to be extra careful ...

I don't have time to do a full nit-picky review, but I have some generic comments. I really like how Delilah is now the one in charge of exposition, and ...