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Re: Black Pendragon Prologue
I am so flattered, Chirantha, you made my day! I have fixed that typo (special thanks for catching it, typos are the bane of my existance) and changed that word. ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: Black Pendragon Chapter 1
“What is it, Mordred?” asked Morgan, pulling me onto her lap. I think I was five, perhaps younger. These events have the diaphonous quality of early memory, but some things ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: Burn Myself.
This piece has the potential to be really powerful. I liked it, but I think your rhyming scheme is a hindrance more than a help. The first stanza especially has ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: Shadows
Hello! This is a really neat poem. My favourite line is "live with the candle's friend", although I'm not sure I understand it. At first I was confused. Wouldn't the ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: Don't Get Too Close To My Bed
I don;t have anything constructive to say, I just wanted to tell you how much I liked this piece. It was something really unique, and I love how the reader ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: Black Pendragon Part 1
“What is it, Mordred?” asked Morgan, pulling me into her lap. “Why does King Lot hate me?” I can’t remember why it had been so important to know. I must ...
Oct 10, 2011 -
Re: No Air (Jordin Sparks)(Revised)
I love this version of the classic fairytale. I especially love that you managed to give it a believable and well-thought out happy ending. The origional story always bothered me ...
Oct 9, 2011 -
Re: Breaking Free
I do love a good story about weres! You even have different kinds of shapeshifter involved, I like that. However, I wan to say that I think you give away ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: I'm From
I really love the sense of celebration this piece has, even though you bring up a lot of things that are not neccasarily good. I also like how you flow ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Black Pendragon Prologue
Thank you for your comments! It's good to know I've succeeded in my prelimnary goal, which was to create a dark atmosphere and get people interested in what happened, why, ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Birathi (No longer accepting)
That's great! Now we have enough people, and I don't have to play two characters (which is good, because I haven't done it for a while so I'm out of ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Black Pendragon Prologue
I know the hill I stand on is naturally a bright, flourishing green, but in the predawn light it looks black. I guess that could be considered appropriate, given the ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Hook. Chapter 2.
I am really enjoting the story so far. I really love how cocky Ares is. But then he also has those periodic moments of doubt, like when he thought he ...
Oct 7, 2011 -
Re: (Title pending) - English assignment needs feedback
Hey! I can see you posted this a while back, but I just wanted to say that I thought this was a really interesting piece. Yes it lacks purpose as ...
Oct 7, 2011 -
Re: Crystal Clear
Wow. I'm not surprised this is a true story. This sounds very,very real. I have nothing to suggest. This piece is perfect as it is.
Oct 6, 2011
