Leahweird

I don't have time to do a full nit-picky review, but I have some generic comments. I really like how Delilah is now the one in charge of exposition, and ...

The echoic echoing? hall lent it’s acoustic s to the bouncing and dripping of tears . T he deep pants for breath and the blur of uneven syllabus syllables? , ...

Either way is fine with me. If you want him, he's yours, but I don't mind playing two characters if you don't. IF we're not waiting for tyrant of war ...

i think I can guess that song this was based off of (Love it). This piece is so delightful! You can tell they love eachother so much. It's in every ...

I really like this. The plot looks like its going to be interesting, and you have a really nice style. I love the way you managed to describe everyhting while ...

Another great chapter! I have nothing constructive to add really. I just wanted to express my enjoyment. I really like how natural Key's stream of conciousness seems. I like how ...

I agree that there are some major things wrong with this piece, and most of them stem from the use of first person. It's not my usual style, for obvious ...

This story reminded me of Beowolf. I am a huge Beowulf fangirl, so yay! However, I would say that since this is supposed to be a translation of a language ...

It started with the miller and his daughter. Before them, I was just a nameless brownie. I shouldn’t have gotten involved, but she was in an impossible situation, and I ...

You have the beggining of a very interesting story her. I think it could use for information to start out with. THe fantasy genre requires a lot of stage setting, ...

One og the things I really love about formatting is that you can do anything you want as long as it sounds good. This poem has a really nice rythem. ...

Dragongirl, I am thrilled with your comments. I agree with you about the problems in the original fairytale. In my opinion he saved her as much as much as she ...

Sorry about the info dump, but it had to be done. Morgan was not usually so secretive. She used to recite our family history to me before I could crawl. ...

Short does not equal uninteresting, and this piece is far from boring. It does get hard to read at time though. I would recommened breaking up each seperate idea, even ...

I was about to comment that you need to mark each section better, but then I realized that you have posted what looks to be three identical versions of chapter ...