Leahweird

I have two,kind of interrelated critiques. TO start with, the mood suddenly changes when you mention she is running because it she is angry. You might try making her feelings ...

Oh! I get it now. Nevermind...

Yes, but he knows that they know specifically where he is. Since they haven't been so directly on his trail in a while, I was just wondering why he thought ...

Jenko We could see the torches in the distance. Haven confirmed that Lamika was being held there, and Wyverrus told the group that there were at least a couple dozen ...

Thank you so much for reading all the cahpters and catching so many errors. I am still plagued by the four demons of cammas, apostrophies, missing words, and duplicates. Plus ...

This turned out much longer than I thought it would. That's okay though, because this is one of the scenes that crept up on me when i first got the ...

Two things I spotted. "seeming" in the first paragraph should probably be "seeing". Also, It's not clear how he would have known that people are after him. Otherwise I am ...

Never a bad thing to have good characters on standby. Things will probably even out as the story progresses.

This chapter had all sorts of good stuff. I espeicially love the comment about the Zanni. Little details like that are why I love novels with multiple viewpoints. One thing ...

So Iulia is the mother. I thought she might be. I love the dynamic between her and Coron. You've got some lovely conflict here.

Oh I definetly will :)

A couple nitpix. In the first paragraph you use the word alarm twice in the same number of sentences. You might want to revise so you don't have to do ...

Ray I jumped as someone banged the table, hand flying to my ears. I stared at Arruna for a moment, unsure how to react. Then the other female member of ...

I think a lot of those issues are caused by the fact that this is an epilogue, so most people would already know who the characters are, but you're right ...

Wow. I didn't think people still listened to this.