Lauren2010

Their eye's met since Their eye's met I feel like there is one to many "Their eye's met here. Also, it would just be eyes, no need for the apostrophe ...

Hah. Wow. If anyone notices the Miss NEED A NAME. Well. That's because I need to give her alias a name. I just haven't yet. So ignore it. I'm going ...

Thanks to all my reviewers! This is currently being rewritten.

Great chapter Emma! The only thing I was going to mention was Mr. Davis. If he was the passenger in the car, I don't understand why Amelia is referring to ...

Hey, nice chapter! I don't really have much to say about it. Just keep in mind showing not telling for here and future use. I hardly see any big stand-outish ...

Hey! Sorry I'm a bit late on this chapter, but I'm here now :D I enjoyed this chapter. A lot happened, a lot was explained. I only want to mention ...

I like the idea of humans coming to live with the Malums. And then conflict over giving them the technology. Perhaps even a war could break out among the Malums ...

*is conflicted* There are a lot of female characters, but I kind of want a girl. But I wouldn't mind a boy either. And there are fewer males so far. ...

So are we getting this thing up and going again? If so here are my suggestions... We start over in a new clean thread. See who is still in, perhaps ...

Oooo I'd love to! *runs off to hunt down the DT*

I've done five so far...I'll try to get a few more in today. Silly real life is always trying to get in the way of YWS. When will it learn?

Alright, your prologue. I think it has potential. Personally, I'm not one for prologues because most of the time they aren't necessary and they are quite difficult to write well. ...

Cute story :) I felt that this moved very fast, and didn't have a lot of meat to it. Slow things down, take time to explore the setting and the ...

Hey there, I'm Lauren and I'll be reviewing for you today. This was an interesting beginning, though I don't feel there was much to it. And I noticed several spelling ...

Hey there, I'm Lauren and I'll be reviewing for you today. I'll start with some nitpicks... Young Siblings slept peacefully in their beds, as siblings is not a formal title, ...