Laramie

Much, much better. The spacing works wonders also, very nicely done. I actually adore this now and there are very few things I would change, though perhaps I would suggest ...

All in all I quite like this. Although you have obviously rewritten this piece several times it seems a little... I don't know, dry? I know it's hard to believe ...

That was wonderful, thanks a bunch! Although that great critique was a pleasure to read and I can see what you mean with very nearly every comment, I must apologize ...

My head lolls on my chest like death, I’m somewhere else- someplace syrupy and pleasant and laughable. When I dream I escape. Oh let me dream. Please. But a tug ...