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LaBelletrist

  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: My Brother's News

    I agree with the above reviewer - this has potential, but you need to space things out and fix a few things, for example... There are quite a few holes ...

    Mar 3, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Where I Belong (Extended)

    I like this, but it seems to have one problem - the emotions aren't given enough detail. Yeah, the other reviewers said it too, but I'll say it again; we ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Freedom Awaits: Chapter 1

    I like the idea of this, but you need to expand on your characterization - we don't see too much about who these people are. We don't know what they ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • General Articles Re: Erased

    I don't know exactly what section this should go in - it feels strange to be here, but it isn't exactly prose or poetry, either. It's unique, and I like ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Sunset Sand

    There are some unanswered questions in this piece that are relatively important - who is this girl, and why is she stuck with this man? She mentions the cuts -- ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Lounge, The Re: The February 2011 Review Day Check-In

    3 so far... Let's see how many I can do today~

    Feb 27, 2011
  • General Articles Re: The Gift (Contest Entry) - Edited.

    I didn't expect this was non-fiction at first -- well, other than it being in the other category... It's written like a story, and I like that. I'm interested to ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Observatory

    I think the problem with these stories is mostly that they don't read like fiction - they read like scare stories in an internet safety lecture you get in school. ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Bread

    Ouch... this piece is harsh. In a good way, of course, but... wow. However, you wanted criticism, so I'll get there. The switch between the characters is a little hard ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Dangerous Games

    I like this - no, it doesn't make too much sense on it's own, but when viewed symbolically it says a lot. You learn tons from a relationship or friendship ...

    Feb 25, 2011
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Public Displays of Affection

    I love how you contrasted the two couples in this, it was an adorable comparison. The humor in the fifth line is perfect too. I can totally relate to your ...

    Feb 25, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: [delete]

    [deleted, sorry! D: I'm possibly submitting this work and I don't want it on the web. >: ]

    Feb 25, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Tic. Tac. Toe.

    First, I'd like to say I like this. A lot. It's got a really good mood, and is incredibly interesting. One thing I'd like to say is that there seems ...

    Feb 24, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Perfection.[Preface]

    Hi! I really like your story - my biggest complaint, to be honest, is that it's too short. :] As previously noted, your descriptions are awesome; I could visualize everything ...

    Feb 24, 2011
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Death Of Penny Lane

    Hi! I really liked this piece, but let me do some nitpicking first; "Dear Penny." Should be "Dear Penny , " "As ungraceful as the sentence was , it was ...

    Feb 22, 2011


"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites