Kurald

You do write very logically. I like it, it's a unique take. You can't break love down into logic, yes. That said, you definitely need to work on your rhythm. ...

Thanks for reviews guys. :D @Perse: I have to confess to writing it with very corny thoughts in mind. xD Inspiration was this: I looked out of my window on ...

Walking down the street in the shadow of twilight, Looking up and down, left and right, Have you seen all the stars above at night? Long after sunset, above the ...

Well, I wasn't bothered at all by the past perfect tense... That was a beautiful piece of work! I was gripped right to the very end. Great job! Jiggity addressed ...

I'm sorry, but to be perfectly blunt, that was almost unreadable. The biggest barrier is the conveyance of your ideas. The muddy language makes it unpleasant and boring to read. ...

Ahh, I have to concur with Kara on some of the awkwardness of the sentences, the incomprehensibility of the motives of the narrator's mom (though maybe she didn't dump food ...

Thanks for the reviews! You guys are awesome! :D Hopefully I caught all the main nitpicks. Window! Wait, did the others have meanings? Because as far as I know, gerund ...

Thanks for the reviews! xD II. AND THEN IT WAS ALL A DREAM Ahh yep, it was... but not Echaron's. I'll end up giving away the second character's identity in ...

Chapter 1 Legend: "abyss": Aure's equivalent of "hell" "heartbeat": Aure's equivalent of a second. Sixty is a minute. “bell”: In towns, the first bell is rung at 6am. Each bell ...

I was redirected here by your chapter 2, so I think I should give you a pat on the back because ch 2 was a clear improvement over the first. ...

Yay a poem! I'm no good at poems but I'll try to review this one. The one thing that struck me about this poem is that though you're writing from ...

Not much to crit on language wise. Pacing was good, description was good, and the tension between Blossom and her mother was there but not overdone, so good job on ...

Just a couple o' alterations I think would convey the ideas/flow better. The stench made him sick, and he was starting to panic. He felt the thick linen rope digging ...

Thanks for the review, Ranger. :D You caught many things I missed! Thanks so much. In hindsight, "squeal" may not have been the right word to use, you're right...hahah. xD ...

Thanks for the comment. I do appreciate it. :) Do you have anything in the way of criticism? For the edits: Added to the last part, rephrased a few moves ...