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Re: Till Death Do Us Apart-(Prologue)
Hey! :) If I could have gone into my heart that night, I would have introduced you to the ruins that Eric had left me into . I really like ...
Oct 6, 2010 -
Re: The Tears of Battle
Hey there! :) I like this, especially the way you fitted so much drama and excitement into a fairly short story. A few small nitpicky things to polish up: Towards ...
Oct 6, 2010 -
Re: Theokrone (A small excerpt from my fantasy novel debut)
Hey there! :) This was very well written and it sounds like a fascinating setting for a story. I really hope you post more here! But while this extract certaintly ...
Oct 5, 2010 -
Re: A Traffic Accident
Hey there! Welcome to YWS! :D I really liked this, especially the description of the car wreck on the road. Still, I think there are ways you could improve it. ...
Oct 5, 2010 -
Re: A Small Dog's Major Problem (Edit)
Hey! :) First off I have to say that I love the concept of this. Dogs having a conversation = bound to be awesome. :smt003 I do think that there ...
Oct 4, 2010 -
Re: The Messenger - Prologue & Chapter 1
Hey again! I'm glad you decided to continue this! :D I like the changes you made to the prologue, although I still think it could be clearer that it was ...
Oct 4, 2010 -
Re: That House
Hey there! :) Wow! I wasn't expecting that ending at all, and it worked really well. :D You managed to fit a lot into such a short story. Still, I ...
Sep 30, 2010 -
Re: Christianity - Where do we go from here?
I agree with you, the Church is very split, but it's been splitting for centuries, and unlikely to unite any time soon because Christianity covers such a broad spectrum of ...
Sep 29, 2010 -
Re: Polygamy and Religious Freedom, where do we draw the line?
I don't really agree with it. Perhaps it could work with a mutual agreement between three people, but any more than that and it begins to be like a man ...
Sep 29, 2010 -
Re: Weekend Riot-CH
Hey there! Welcome to YWS and I hope you enjoy your time here! :D So, you described this as a snippet in your author's note, and that's certaintly what it ...
Sep 29, 2010 -
Re: Inner Beauty
Hey there! Welcome to YWS! :smt003 Nawwww, that was cute. :3 It's always nice to read a story where the nice guys end up together. “That was real low for ...
Sep 29, 2010 -
Re: Ever Changing
Hey there! :) Hmm, I like this, especially the way your main character already has her own distinct personality. It seems like an interesting beginning to a novel. A few ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: Fated Prologue and Chapter 1 (revised)
Hey there! :) This is well-written and definitely intruiging. I have just a few nitpicks: Six short, fast years was all it took In this context chort and fast mean ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: How to Shoot an Albatross
Hey! :) I haven't ever read the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but I know the general plot of it, and I love the way you've retold it. You have ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: Review Day September 2010 Check-In
I'd like to do at least five, and then more once I've got some homework out of the way.
Sep 26, 2010