Kim

i think this is beautiful, i actually like the ryme. maybe because you edited it before i got to read it. normally i dont really like poems on death, but ...

thanks bear , will go back and edit it.

Chapter 10 The afternoon sky soon became dark. The ominous cloud was closing in faster than the angels could get Christian to run. His little legs pumping as fast as ...

I to read the entire thing and enjoyed it. everything you say is true. our school system is going down the drain. students are not important anymore, just scores for ...

i found this to be very true, people come and go, some are meant to stay in your life, but most move on to live different lives. your story shows ...

your story deeply affected me, you did an awesome job discribing your feelings and making the reader feel them. although there are a few grammar errors, i think by pointing ...

the detail and shading are excellent. i like how the body looks muscular, the edges are a little to sharp in some areas, try softening them up a little. the ...

Green means go: i actually liked this one, stopping the path of light. and the reflection on the street. Silvery whisps: this is a pretty picture, but i found it ...

This is very interesting, intriguing. i wasnt sure if it was a poem or the beginning of a story. didnt matter though, it was very good. the only thing i ...

this is so full of emotion, no ryming and no cliche's. this is very good, made my heart ache for you. kim

wow, that was very strong emotion. it took me a second to figure it out, but the multiple personalities were speaking to each other. very unique. the only thing to ...

Hi welcome. that is great you like to write. this is the place to get started. when i joined, i clicked on every button i could find. and bugged the ...

welcome to YWS your story was very good and detailed. as mentioned above tho, space your writning, it will flow alot easier, and keep the reader going to the end. ...

wow this was awesome. you drew me in from the beginning and i dont even watch football. your discriptions were very vivid. the numbers stopped the flow alittle, but that ...

darn it the computer wiped out my comment. gaw, ok here goes again. :) i really enjoyed reading this, i loved the use of color to discribe the sky. a ...