Kim

i just want to thank all of you for taking the time to look at my work and critique. kim

thats ok cheeztoast, thank you kim

welcome to YWS. i am sorry for eveything you have had to go throught. thats alot for one person to carry on your shoulders. the past we cant change, only ...

hi Kenzie, cool name. welcome, i think you will have fun here, lots of people to meet and great writings. just start browsing through the site and have fun with ...

thank you so much for the time you put in. wow. i appreciate it so much. i will definately take your advice. and make some changes. again thank you kim

i think it is good, it does move fast, but like you said you had written for a school progect. i like the idea that you started with, and then ...

bear this is very very good, i dont think it was to long. there are a few spelling errors, but other then that , this is so well written. the ...

this one confused me, when Ronda showed up in the picture, you used I instead of Landon, then switched to using his name. Ex. my bed was pushed into the ...

This is beautiful. i normally stay away from poems, i dont have the ability to critique them. but i started this and couldnt stop. you are very good with discriptions ...

Thanks Bear. i changed it. it's those little things i seem to always miss. :D

i think you need to explain sarah, who is she? why isnt she there?, the sentence breaks up, like a thought that didn't get finished. also when he "slows down ...

i like how you have rewritten this, you have added so much more detail. it is getting suspenseful and flows when i read it. i think you have a good ...

i like how you use discription. i laughed when you fell over the gate. you discribed the refugee's so well, i could actually see them. i kind of got lost ...

Chapter Seven Aronn had followed Christian as he walked to school. As the school bell rang he watched him walk into the building with Seth and Samuel at his side. ...

This is great, the topic needed to be touched on, i feel the same way. this is well written and you got your point acrossed. please dont take the rudeness ...