Kepe

I think the topic has real potential, but it did sound a bit childish. I think you could make the poem flow better, and a different rhyme scheme would make ...

This poem really didn't feel like poetry. I got no emotion from the poem, just facts. I think if you describe it a bit more, and flesh it out, it ...

I really like the way you structured your poem. It felt like a heart beat, with short lines between every new line. I also liked how you ended with the ...