Kelcia

Lol! Goodness, no! Alaki means 'my dear' in arabic! A better phrase might be "Al humdellilah," (spelling optional) which means "God willing". But I just noticed something. You wrote "alkai", ...

Alex Baker Hufflepuff “They must have men in the Order…” That’s what Tristin had said. Alex glanced around, a sharp knife, taken from one of the kitchen drawers, held firmly ...

*ahem.* Posting would be good... I can't do anything from here....

*Grins* I know arabic when I see it, Jok101. But, um, do you know what alaki means?

Well, I like the mood of this piece. It seems like it could be used very powerfully. However, your punctuation is rather lacking. Capitalize all your 'I's and the first ...

Aw, this is such a sad poem! (and I have four kitties of my own!) It's very moving to a fellow cat lover. Anyway, it's well written, but I think ...

Nicely written, I think, but I have some minor quibbles. "Can all this be inside of you to?" "And do you feel it to?" I think you mean "too." :) ...

I think that this is a very nice poem. The lines "You can't even see Your own selfish, cold heart" Seem a bit awkward to me. Maybe try rearranging the ...

Well, I think that with a little editing this could be quite a nice piece. I liked the use of repitition in some of your lines. It really gave a ...

Simon and Susa The twins looked at each other, confused. They weren’t sure if they could trust Luke anymore. Susa had been just as furious as her brother when Luke ...

I enjoyed it - it has a very nice tempo to it. The story in the poem was as author 'IveGotMyWords' says, bittersweet. I also agree that some of your ...

What I never understood is why Harry didn't just squirt water into Dumbledore's mouth from his wand. I suppose he just didn't think of it. Another strange thing I noticed ...

In my oppinion, take it slow. It is hard to write a their-eyes-met-across-a-crowded-room-and-they-instantly-fell-in-love type of story, and very hard to enjoy, for me at least. It should be natural. N

Simon and Susa Susa, who had been staring at Luke in shock, suddenly spoke, her voice trembling from barely controlled rage. “When our father finds out about this,” she said. ...

Hiya, You say this is your first time posting? Well, it's pretty good for a beginning. I think it has a lot of promise. The begining could use a little ...