-
Re: Watchful (Edited Version) chp. 3
Great so far! I want more :D A few more grammar issues- don't forget to end dialogue with a COMMA (in most cases, when needed- you get what I mean)! ...
Nov 17, 2011 -
Re: Where Screams Aren't Heard
Great work so far. Very good desciptions and dialogue. There are a few things I'd like to point out- “Hello? Yes this is chief Lockheary….. Mmmmm ok ill be right ...
Nov 10, 2011 -
Re: Watchful Part two (chp.6 and 7)
So there are a few things here and there as BassGuitarFreak pointed out- but more descriptions- namely, the cave- it's so very vague and I have quite a bit of ...
Nov 10, 2011 -
Re: Watchful (Edited Version)
Big improvement from your unedited version, definitely. It's great so far! A few things here and there- “Hey there.” Scarlet whipped around to see a tall handsome figure looming over ...
Oct 30, 2011