KatTrain

It's not the street i usually go on, i always turn right but there was something about rue 147 that drew me in that night. Perhaps it was the flickering ...

I've heard this story a lot. Try a new subject. brenda's got a baby, runaway love, etc

You left and now I'm alone Alone in this world of secrets and lies This place where I can not hide Why did you Leave Me to Die? I read ...

Different words instead of :pain, scream, cry, broken, etc Will make this piece a lot more interesting, i lost interest in the first two lines.

I return to send the message In which our parents tried So very hard to deliver On the parenting ride you used parent(ing) twice I didn't much like it, it ...

We are really nice 'nice' is over used We are there for each other in the end But we just love to yell. yelling and there for eachother aren't tied ...

she used to sing sometimes happy These lines are too simple. 'Happy' is overused. Try different vocabulary. and even flowers turned to listen and they grew big and tall the ...

I didn't enjoy it, doesn't really seem to accurately describe how someone would feel in such a horrible situation. There isn't a meaning, just a long string of random masochist ...

Thanks, all of y'all It was sculpting and feeding the 'lichens' young, but i see where that is confusing. Great critiques, i'll work this over :)

It seems like a poem that belongs on a card. Easy to read and enjoy, but not very deep. It was a cute poem, but there was no substance to ...

Lichens fly in shades of blue, out the nest and over you. Sunshine sculpts and feeds their young, you try to shout, they coat your tongue. Parasitic and taking your ...

There wasn't much of a natural flow. Sometimes you smother the beauty of certain words by grouping them together in on massive description. "An ended fight, a gunshot lingering on ...

Thanks, you guys. I'm going to try to work on it (guess from the comments it's going to be an over-haul).

Fixed the your/you're, thanks guess it was a bit too late, eh? I meant the fading/thinning to show how she was disappearing, but yes i could see the confusion. A ...

The title made me like the poem before i read it, haha.