Karsten

Whew. And I was just worried about people stealing my ideas. 0.o I think I'm going to wait a little longer before publishing chapter 1 of my novel here. I ...

By having Marcus being mentioned and then referring to him as "the opponent who had already won", I was under the impression it would make it clear that the opponent ...

Hi Blinkasy, I have mixed feelings about some parts of this story, but by the ending I was pretty interested. I'm ambivalent toward the 18th-century voice. On the one hand ...

I've got to say, I hate multiple first-person narrators. Hate hate hate with a fiery passion. They feel confusing and schizophrenic, as if the "I" narrator has a bunch of ...

Hi Dreamwalker, I'm afraid I struggled with this piece. There are a lot of technical errors - the second sentence alone has two of them. The writing was a little ...

Hi KJ, This was readable. You picked a good dramatic scene to start with, and I liked the fact that the worst possible outcome is the one that actually happened. ...

Hi Conrad, I'm confused as to whether this is the start of a story. I can't seem to find a prologue, but this piece starts in a weird place - ...

Hi DrPepper, I don't want to retread the grounds of earlier critiques, so I'll just agree with them that this is too short and needs more detail, and move on ...

Hi flytodreams, This piece was too thin for me to follow. I'm not getting a clear sense of the characters. It's not intuitively obvious how many characters there are in ...

Someone told me if you put things on a forum or RP with characters, it voids your copyright and makes you unpublishable because the work has already been 'published'. Is ...

Glad you managed to resurrect your work from the dead. :) I find MozyHome a godsend for backups - it's a free program that automatically backs up specified files/folders to ...

When to start - at the last possible moment, when the protagonist's life changes forever and they can never go back to the way things were, with a unique and ...

Hi Adriana, This is spectacular . You have a powerful voice, a strong situation/setting and some fascinating characterisation. What I'm not seeing is the plot. Stuff that happens in this ...

I seem to have trouble illustrating emotion in fight scenes. I know emotions that you'd be feeling; shock, pain, fear, etc. But I can't really think of a good ways ...

Hi Christine, I think there's a strong core concept and interesting character relationships here, but you're burying them a little. Firstly, this piece is a little messy and needs more ...