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Re: Bearer of the Rubyarc; renamed Rising of the Moon- Chapter 1
Hey! haven't seen you around much. Welcome to YWS! Im not that good at grammar, so i'll just do the best I can. The spacing is wonderful. He was MVP ...
Jun 13, 2008 -
Re: Red Rain Chapter 1 cont.
Ok, awesome, loved it. This just keeps on reminding me of Red Dawn. Im hooked. I hope you finish this unlike all of the other attempted novels on this site. ...
Jun 12, 2008 -
Re: Red Rain Prologue
I definetly like this opposed to the other one. Great hooker, I would pick it up and keep reading also. Only a few things... Instead of using Bang! all the ...
Jun 12, 2008 -
Re: A Summer To Remember-- Prologue
Very well writen. Great vocab. I like the way everybody is gathering to tell the story right. I think it would make a great movie if you're planning to finish. ...
Mar 31, 2008 -
Re: One to Midnight
I think it reflects the teen nature very accurately. :) I think you should also space the paragraph and break it up some. it was hard to read mainly because ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Capital Punishment 1/2
Man, i feel like i have missed alot. I noticed that i had to read one or two sentances twice to completely get them. I love it. im going to ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Golden Gaurd
thanks for your help guys seriously. i don't know what i would do without you . (edited) Tell me if there is still stuff wrong. CHAPTER 2 The next day ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Assassin story!
hm, i like the thing where the dude is like the godfather, in a way. Good i like the idea of a femail assassin, reminds me of electra. The only ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Andrea Rider
I would probably say add spaces between Paragraphs. Then I will read and comment. thats probably why i'm the first. Not to be harsh or anything.
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Red Rain
Lol, scary story. but is this after or before the bombs? if it was after, I doubt any one would bother to land because of all the radioactive material. It ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Golden Gaurd
Thanks for posting guys. I'm working on it now. I know that I like am terrable at grammar, and I hate commas by the way:) But im working on it. ...
Mar 6, 2008 -
Re: Golden Gaurd
Thank you for reading. Golden Guard Chapter 1 edited is at bottom CHAPTER 2 The next day everybody got up early. They didn't even look at the mess in the ...
Mar 4, 2008 -
Re: Golden Guard
here is the rewrite and edit. i will post it below chapter 2 when i get to posting it. Golden Guard Chase sprang awake. He had dreamed of horrid creatures, ...
Mar 4, 2008 -
Re: Golden Guard
Thanks all, This is mainly meant to be a teaser, and i have rewriten it, along with chapter 2 and most of chapter 3, thanks for commenting.
Mar 3, 2008 -
Re: about me
I wouldn't really want to move to long at all, it seems that in almost every Armaggedon book, it mentions london being destroyed first. Bummer. But also they don't really ...
Feb 29, 2008
