Kale

This story struck me as a bit simplistic, to be frank. It's a good base, but I think it would benefit quite a lot from a bit more fleshing out. ...

“You should’ve been there, son!” The chief’s voice boomed enthusiastically through the cabin . “We tracked that kid for hours from his campsite . Here, I brought you some.” How ...

A man peaked his bald head through the maroon curtains. Should be "peeked." Other than that, though, I didn't catch any errors. This was definitely an interesting start, and I ...

In that case, you should include an explanation at the end of the story. I completely missed it. XD

The entire opening scene doesn't add anything to the chapter. I suggest deleting it entirely. Without nitpicking, I can't say much else other than that the story didn't really draw ...

nun’s vale Should be veil. A vale is a valley while a veil is a cloth. she stated harshly For one thing, a statement is usually emotionally neutral/matter-of-fact. The exclamation ...

Thanks everyone. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. :D My problem with this is that it seems more like the beginning to something bigger rather than a short and sweet ...

For Amon360's Vampire contest. --- Vegan Vamp Hi. The name's Joe. I'm nineteen, vegan, and a vampire. At this point, you're probably asking yourself, "How can a vampire be vegan ...

Thanks everyone for the comments. You don't have to be afraid to tear it apart; that's why I posted it here, after all. :P As for the confusing bit, I've ...

This was a really cute story. :3 There were a couple of things that caught my attention, though. Once upon a time/,/ there was a little girl who wanted to ...

So, would using multiple POVs make it harder to get attached to a character? Or would it make it more interesting? It depends on your characterizations skills. If they're not ...

Hi there. I'm not sure if you're aware, but this site has a rule that for every one work you post, you have to review two people. Just go review ...

This poem was overall very vague. There was no imagery, the verb tenses were inconsistent, and partially because of a couple misspellings that might actually be due to word confusion, ...

To be honest, it was a bit difficult to read, especially Branson. I had to think about it for a long time before I recognized the name. Since this is ...

To be honest, the title almost stopped me from reading this, but I'm glad I did. You did a great job portraying the subject in a non-glorified or cliche way. ...