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Re: When You’re Not There - By, Trevor Jones
Hi there. Before I mention anything else, it would be a good idea if you deleted your name from this. People can track you down with it. This isn't to ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: New material for "Dark Star"
This was really cute. It did move a bit fast, but I think it suited this story. One thing I noticed was that while you italicized some of the thoughts, ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: My Thesis on Atheism and The Creation of God
Athiests can never seem to win a debate about religion, and some may put it into poetic terms: n either side can be proved nor disproved. The view that the ...
Jan 31, 2010 -
Re: My Thesis on Atheism and The Creation of God
I don't have time at the moment to critique this fully, but I would like to point out that a lot of your arguments are flawed since they are based ...
Jan 29, 2010 -
Re: The Prince and the Lost Sword: Prologue
Hi there. For the sake of brevity, I'll just be pointing out the issues I see. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. I believe in the ...
Jan 29, 2010 -
Re: The Quiet Side of Hunting
Inspired by the fact that a lot of fantasy stories have (often grossly unrealistic) hunting scenes in them. I wonder how many of those authors have actually gone hunting... I ...
Jan 29, 2010 -
Re: Modern World
Welcome to YWS. :D Though I may come across as mean in this review, I'm not trying to be; I'm actually trying to help you. In addition to what JSPike ...
Jan 28, 2010 -
Re: The Reach N' Grab - Infomercial
Reach n’ grab! Capitalization is inconsistent. Elija Wood Well , s ure! Too many exclamation points. @_@ When you use as many exclamation points close together, they lose their impact ...
Jan 28, 2010 -
Re: Small changes to front page
I like the changes. :D
Jan 25, 2010 -
Re: YWS Anti-Novel Crusade: Ideas
I just had another idea for the Novels forum that would carry over from the Advanced Critiques: rather than copy-paste entire chapters into the post area, I think it would ...
Jan 25, 2010 -
Re: The Ruin of Daroder
Juni! :D So glad you liked. I am more of a novelist, but poetry is one of my first literary loves, and I enjoy writing it. It does wonders for ...
Jan 22, 2010 -
Re: Letter from a possesive vampire
This made me giggle. XD (About almost all your life) As Snoink already mentioned, there is a huge difference between "you're" and "your". Even with a spelling/grammar checker, you'll have ...
Jan 22, 2010 -
Re: The Day I Killed My Love
You might want to delete your name; people can track you down with it. It snuck up behind me This line is redundant. I think the poem would be better ...
Jan 22, 2010 -
Re: Reviews from a Marine (Re-opened)
Hi Aqua. Can I has review? :D My piece Fate (An Interpretation into English) is feeling quite unloved in the Lyrics section.
Jan 22, 2010 -
Re: The Angel's Gallery [Grand Reopening]
Hey, Shina. When you have the time, could you review my Lyrics piece Fate (An Interpretation into English) ? Thanks.
Jan 22, 2010
