Kale

Ken "Just a smidgen of magic," Ken repeated, incredulity tinging his voice. He felt a tickle of laughter rise in the back of his throat, a tickle he quickly suppressed. ...

Thanks for all the comments. I'm glad you all enjoyed. @antimelrose I originally had the second stanza formatted into four lines so that it was in ABCD form like the ...

but her eyes have shattered in tears. The "but" struck me as a bit redundant. I think this line is stronger if you drop it entirely. retches her guts on ...

I like how you described jealousy in the first stanza without stating it directly, and then stated it in the last line of the second, but I think the "almost ...

Now quick, quick, quick, I think this line could use another "quick" to even out the syllable count. The last stanza seemingly came out of nowhere. There was such a ...

My crown. It is gone. o_o On a similar note, the review count at the top of the Leaderboards page is now off by 4 for me. Earlier today, it ...

Chamomile scent reaching my nose... Watch your spelling. I also think this line would be more effective as "The smell of chamomile reaching my nose..." though that's just personal preference. ...

The thing that really struck me about this poem is how repetitious it is. The thing is, it's not annoyingly repetitious, which was great. Unfortunately, in order to maintain this ...

My first impression was that this was really short. It's not a bad thing, but it made me go back through and reread it several times, and I found upon ...

Navita was quite thorough and basically said everything I wanted to, so I'll just reinforce her suggestion to use more unique imagery and less pretentious language. For example, the "wind ...

Hello and welcome to the site. The first four stanzas really had nothing going for them. They're very simplistic and cliche; almost identical phrases and themes can be found in ...

That was cute and made me laugh. I agree that it would work well as a children's book, but it needs some work, first. They might be the cure to ...

It took me a moment to figure out how to add threads, but then, once I did, I went "Doh!" I really miss the obvious sometimes. XD;;; --- Nate! Why ...

Hi there, kizacolo. You seem pretty new to the site, so you may not be aware that you don't need to bump your writing to get reviews, especially in such ...

The second and fourth stanzas struck me as a bit too abstract. They obscure the main point of the poem. In addition, you end almost every line with a period. ...