Kale

The first thing that caught my eye was the lack of punctuation. This is not a good thing. Right now, without most of the punctuation, it's difficult to read and ...

Hello there. You might want to get around to reviewing other users' works. Not only will it get you more reviews, but it'll also get you the points you need ...

These are all wonderful. I just wish you'd had better pictures of them. Have you considered investing in a scanner? Your surrealism is just wonderful. There's so much detail, and ...

You had a strong rhyme, but, as carden already pointed out, you sacrificed coherency in some places and consistency in others. A lot of your lines have different lengths, which ...

It was heartfelt, and the simplicity of the language really made it such. However, as sarebear already mentioned, there's no clear pattern to the lyrics. What's their rhyme pattern? It ...

In addition to what Suzanne said about the rhyming, I think this poem would benefit if you broke it up into stanzas. Right now, there's no separation between the lines, ...

I loved the story of the poem. I've always had a soft spot for folklore and mythology, and this poem has a very folkloric feel to it. As Suzanne has ...

Has it really been almost a year since I last posted a chapter? O_O Broken up into two parts for your reading (and reviewing) convenience. Name The prince woke slowly, ...

I agree with Suzanne. The lack of punctuation is more chaotic than anything, and it, coupled with the capitalization of the first letter of every line and the line breaks ...

Lalaith she was called, Laughter in our tongue; This line tripped me up because it's rhythm is so different from and it's much longer than the first two lines. I ...

Scrapes, cut, burns and buries. What's a buries? My brutally honest opinion is that this is standard teenage wangst fare. It's not interesting to read, it doesn't present any unique ...

This was very short (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), but it became kind of incoherent by the end. It starts at the line "But I told like a rat", ...

Hello there, and welcome to YWS. You might want to review other users' works since it will not only get you the points you need to post new threads but ...

*flails at the awesomeness* It's so much easier to use than the forums set up (and more obviously placed). I also really like how you can see how many times ...

Shh, Griff. I haven't gotten around to painting them in yet. :P