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Re: Classy Reviews [open]
A review on Chapter 3 of The Fox and the Prince would be much appreciated. :D
May 18, 2010 -
Re: A Home
Shinning. Reflecting. A stain. The pain. I believe you want "shining". This poem struck me as very disjointed, in the confusing way. I have no clue where "Henceforth visitors" came ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: "Skins of a Matryoshka Doll"
One thing that caught my eye right off the bat was that the first letter of every line is capitalized. I think this poem would be much stronger if this ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: Death
This was very short and not very poetic. It reads more like a description of the symptoms of death rather than a poem about death. Basically, it's too literal, and ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: Morse Lake
I like how you tied in the feelings of nostalgia to the hammock and the trees. It was a good use of imagery, and it really made those nostalgic feelings ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: stars and palms
This was very short, which wasn't a bad thing at all. I actually liked how this poem was so brief, and how the last stanza tied into the first. I ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: whistle me wayward
my blood, my come Wrong "come". This was very disjointed, and it took me a second read through to realize what you were writing about. It's not a bad thing ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: What is a poem? Edited
Your first poem could do with a whole lot of expansion. Right now, I feel like you were going somewhere, but then you suddenly dropped it. Explain how poems are ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Love Hurts
I gived you all I had, "Gave", not "gived". Lyrics should be punctuated following the same rules as prose and poetry. Right now, these lyrics are not, and it leads ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Gory Answer
Brutal honesty ahead. Brace yourself, or don't read. There were a lot of spelling mistakes in this, and you really need more punctuation. Poetry and songs are punctuated the same ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Project Mystic Scene 1-3
PhoenixBishop was quite thorough in his review, so I'll just be basically reinforcing what he said. You have a lot of infodumps. The one in the classroom wasn't so bad ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Reflections on Nature, Myself, and Others
Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. This simple statement, made by Euclid so many years before this day Descartes, not Euclid. Carpe deum. Carpe diem. This was entirely ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: The Smoking Gun: The Murder of Creativity
Hey there. You might want get around to reviewing other users' works; it'll not only get you more reviews, but also the points you need to post more of your ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Addiction
(alcohol) quit whenever you want. I think it works better phrased "quit (alcohol) whenever you want." It makes more sense and fits in with how you've placed the other such ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Academy for Heroes-In-Training: Redux - No Longer Active
Corda - Infirmary - Tuesday - 5:37 PM Corda sat by Nolan's bedside, watching him breathe; it was her only assurance that he was still alive. He looked terrible, vivid ...
May 17, 2010
