Kale

Hello there. You might remember me from chat. I saw that you had only one review on this, so I decided to fix that. :D I face the scorn of ...

...compelling, hateful, and manipulative villains ever created in a tale. His manipulation of people and events , leads to the downfall of many. I suggest you find a synonym for ...

Like Lauren, I think using "fuck" in the narration was a bit much. Like Lauren, though, this is just how I feel about the matter. Still, I find it quite ...

7; 21; 13; 42; 2 These semicolons should all be commas. This was a nice, short piece. A bit simplistic, perhaps, but it wasn't bad. The first and second paragraphs ...

momentarily stopped bouncing "Why(comma) Wolfe, I do Wolf, Cole, and Crispin: these names really don't make sense together. Cole and Crispin I can see working, but Wolf is so completely ...

There's a huge blank space in the middle of this. Why is it there? If you put it there to separate the two halves, then there's no need for it ...

Hang a moment You're missing a word here. nearing until less than This just reads awkwardly, and I believe you're missing at least one word in here. "Well--" George said. ...

This was an interesting format for your poem, and I like how you started each stanza with a consecutive letter of the alphabet; it was quite creative. However, as the ...

charring the forty kg worth I think it would be better if you wrote out "kilograms". The first part of the first poem is my favorite. The imagery in it ...

from morn til nigh I know what you meant, but "nigh" means "near", and "from morning until near" just doesn't sound right or make sense. I suggest just using "night". ...

This was interesting, and you had some good imagery going, but it was really too disjointed to really appreciate. There's no apparent connection between the items you mention, which leaves ...

The repetition, which I thought would annoy me, actually didn't annoy me at all, which was great. I did think, however, that this poem was a bit simplistic and could ...

Lights lit up, imitates the glowing of the stars. Tense shift. "Lit" should be "light". I suggest you find a synonym for one of the lights because it does sound ...

This poem made me chuckle at the end. It's not bad at all, though it could use some improvement. Namely, the punctuation and capitalization need work. Poetry follows the same ...

The first thing I noticed was that you have punctuation. It's not always correct, but you have it, and that is great. The thing about poetry, though, is that it ...