Kale

Never is he claimed to one maiden, I'm not sure that "claimed" is the best word in this context. "Held" may be better, or "tied". With a paranoid stare, always ...

I really think this poem needs to be formatted better. Right now, the rhyme is lost in places because everything is clumped together into giant paragraphs. Also, there was some ...

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions. Here's the revised version. Orpheus I look to my left; there’s nothing there but a stretch of sand, like snow - pristine, unbroken in ...

For Rosey Unicorn's Beginnings of Magic contest. Original post under spoiler. --- The birth of magic was like the birth of flame, the kindling and tinder lying complacent one moment, ...

And finished.

I can’t lose them You need to be more careful with loose/lose and other similarly spelled words, like breath/breathe. You've got a couple of mistakes of this type scattered throughout ...

And I am finished.

I like how this poem is essentially an extended metaphor. It gives the concept, which would otherwise be cliche, a new lease on life. You set me a light , ...

Here as requested. I actually think this works better as a prose poem, otherwise, I suggest getting a bit more creative with the line breaks. Right now, they're just at ...

Hello there. The first thing I noticed was that you have the incorrect tense for "sleep" and "close"; they should be "sleeping" and "closed", respectively. Because of this, your first ...

This was a lovely little poem, and I liked the simple but expressive language. Unfortunately, when I first read this through, it didn't really register as a meaningful poem until ...

You had an interesting rhyme pattern going on here. I liked it. The thing is, some of the rhyming lines were so different in length that you lost the rhyming ...

Heh, it'd appear the only people who read these are JMs, mods, and DMs. Hey, now. I regularly read these before I became a JM. :P It's not our fault ...

I really do not like "no ordinary". It just reads awkwardly, and there are number of perfectly serviceable words that mean the exact same thing. In addition, it really confused ...

But with it, I'm still here today ready for whatever's thrown at me. The last line is really long, while the line before it is really short. I suggest evening ...