Kale

I haven't read part one (yet), but this was amazing, even without reading it. This deserves more comments, dammit! D: And now I simply must read part one. Must must ...

If it's not too much trouble, I'll be requesting two. The Birth of Magic - This is for Rosey's contest, so if you only review one, I'd rather it be ...

You had some lovely imagery here, and I especially liked how you compared blood to raspberry syrup. The thing is, while some of your imagery was very concrete and easy ...

Chen - In the Sky - On a Flying Carpet "Gah!" Chen flailed for a handhold as the roar woke him from his nap, prompting the firebender to sit up ...

Hi there. The first thing I noticed was the typo in your title; it should be "heaven". I'm also a bit curious what the 1 represents, but that's a good ...

The first five stanzas read like a typical teen angst poem. They were all so vague and used such common phrasings, it almost put me to sleep. I also didn't ...

The first thing I noticed was actually not the lack of punctuation (for once XD) but that you tended to repeat words like "sky" and "eyes". Since this poem was ...

So long as you clearly separate these sections, I see no problem. It might be better to do it by chapter, where you alternate between the characters' points of view, ...

Don't rely on inspiration. If writing were mostly inspiration, I'd have finished a lot of books already. The thing is, writing is mostly hard work and slogging along through things ...

I colour-coded mine because I switched entirely (except for emergencies) from two-fingered to touch typing in one go; I figured it was all or nothing or I'd just be undoing ...

The one word that describes this poem in my mind is "vague". You speak of light and darkness, but they're such common, generic words. In fact, all your main points ...

Punctuation. There isn't enough of it in this, and this is what I noticed first before I even began reading. Lyrics are punctuated the same as prose, and not having ...

Hey there. The first thing I noticed as I was looking at your poem was that you've got a couple of ".."s. Did you want "..." instead? I also noticed ...

The beginning of this poem really didn't impress me, but the ending pleasantly surprised me. I especially liked how you tied the ending to the beginning through the mirror, and ...

The first thing that grabbed my attention was the lack of punctuation. Everything in this poem just runs together into a mess of of ideas because there's no punctuation to ...