Kale

Punctuation. You need it. Right around the "I'm bored" line, my brain shut down and stopped trying to comprehend this poem. A lot of this was due to the lack ...

The one issue I had with this poem was the irregularity of the punctuation. You seem to have an aversion to periods, and while I can understand why you'd leave ...

I would just like to point out that you have a typo in the title: "LIfe". You might want to fix that and keep an eye out for similar mistakes ...

525, 600 There should be no space after the comma. 525600 is one number; not 525 and 600, which is what the space after the comma makes it seem like ...

Live and let live. No two people are identically alike, and so no two people have the same ways of attaining happiness. Therefore, no one has the right to tell ...

Nitpicks! cuddle-fish It's cuttlefish, fool! Though cuttlefish are uncannily cuddly... "Polly want a cracker," Should be enclosed in single quotes as they're quotations within quotations. Hooray for n

And if your characters are changing into Twilight characters in more than just in appearance, there is a very simple solution to your problem: stop reading Twilight. Seriously. Anything you ...

Three words for you, darling: do it yourself. YWS is not here to do your work for you.

You switch referring to to the person who taught the narrator the lesson from "you" to "he" in the second stanza. That really threw me off. I suggest just referring ...

You need to look over your punctuation more carefully, not just because you missed a couple of essential commas here and there, but also to reevaluate just how many pieces ...

First thing I noticed: you have a misspelling in the title. It should be "prospective" and not "perspective". The second thing I noticed: this poem is not very poetic. It ...

It whizzes in the atom, where you cannot know both energy and position, so are lost in that tiny space. This sentence makes no sense, and I think it may ...

The one word I would use to describe this is rushed. You have a great idea here, and you could wring a lot of drama (real drama and not cheap ...

Suggestion 1: The ability to link to Discussion Board topics individually. The nice thing about the Groups was that each thread could be separately linked, but it doesn't seem to ...

Hey there LauRux. Moved this to Writers Corner since this is talking about your project. Ask an Expert is more for when you want information on specific subjects rather than ...