Kale

Hello there, Jake. First off, I'd like to commend you for your formatting. It is easy to read, and the chorus and verses are clearly separated. This is much appreciated. ...

I tiredly dress myself in skin, Nix the adverb. Adverbs are to be used sparingly in prose, and even moreso in poetry, as they tend to weaken what they describe ...

The grammar in this is atrocious. The punctuation is inconsistent, you have tense shifts everywhere, you've got randomly capitalized and uncapitalized letters scattered about, and you've got some basi

Hey there, questcrewforever. You wouldn't happen to be a fan of the dance group Quest Crew, would you? If so, I know someone who might want to talk to you. ...

Odd rhyming aside, this flowed quite well. In fact, I didn't notice the odd rhyme scheme until I looked this over more closely, and you did a good job with ...

doubt my own feelings and control. Please, I need someone to take control "Control" is repetitive. I suggest finding a synonym for one of the instances. Overall, your line breaks ...

If I have one issue with this poem, it is how you overused "they". In the first stanza, it was clear that "they" are the shadows, but throughout the rest ...

Hello there, nicchaos. The first thing I noticed was the punctuation. It was inconsistent and not always grammatically correct. Poetry generally follows the same grammar conventions as regular writing

Hello there, romance otaku. I'll be reviewing you today. I'll say first thing that the rhyme did not work for me. There is more to rhyming than having each line ...

Write down the idea. Make sure to include all the details. Store it in a safe place. When you have time, you can go dig up the idea, look it ...

Oh dear. Site Map needs updating again. I'm not sure if that's in purpose, but it looks like you could theoretically squeeze the About/Info into the same line as the ...

Hello there, Kyladoot, and (a belated) welcome to YWS. If there is one thing about this poem that could use work, it is how the imagery jumps around. For instance, ...

Caressing my words to your ear, "Caressing" is misused. A caress is a gentle touch. You can gently touch something to another thing, but how do you gentle touching something ...

1) Agreeing with Ten that there isn't enough education to identify the signs. Also, often times domestic abuse is portrayed as solely physical, which is not true. In addition, it ...

Right away, I noticed this: Every breathe I breath is empty. It should be "breath I breathe". "Breath" is the noun; "breathe" is the verb. When in doubt, consult a ...