Kale

and I breathed in the caustic guilt in the air; If you're breathing, air is a given. This redundancy is compounded by the repetition of "in". I suggest either omitting ...

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman is more supernatural than fantasy, but it is awesome and I love it to death. The Enchanted Forest Chronicles is a quartet of books ...

You did a pretty good job of keeping YWS from crashing. I was pleasantly surprised I only encountered some signs of crashiness twice. I also like that I got the ...

Stanzas are basically poetic paragraphs. Each stanza typically has one main idea and supporting ones. For example, your first stanza could be the first four lines, with the main idea ...

I once saw this family at an amusement park. All four children had intensely golden eyes. I wanted to take a picture so badly, but I had no camera. D: ...

That's not what I meant, really, I meant that they worshipped the sun, and maybe they thought, MAYBE, that when the sun when away their god was dying. I think ...

I wasn't too shabby myself. 20 reviews in four hours. I am quite pleased with myself. :3

Interesting creatures and setup you have here, and it is interesting to read. However, and this is a huge "however", mister space man guy is quite stupid, to put it ...

Sounds like an interesting place, this little planet yours. I actually didn't mind how slow this was, or the lack of characterization so far, though I do think our dear ...

And then you end it like it's a public service announcement, which ruins everything. You know, it's like if at the end of Requiem for a Dream , the characters, ...

Every once in a while, I find myself enjoying a piece in spite of all its flaws, and this is one of those pieces. You have a very well-thought out ...

I could not read this. For starters, it is a huge block of text in all its un-paragraphed glory. If that had been the only issue, however, I would have ...

I second everything that Tenyo said, basically. Especially the bit about the conclusion. Right now, the paper feels quite incomplete, as if you just stopped writing it after you finished ...

You had a lot of run-on sentences and misspelled words in this. Combined with the rather large paragraphs, this was not easy to read. When you're writing about topics that ...

I contrast to Kafka, I over here am suffering from an "I hate" repetition was just too much, and the only reason I finished reading this was because I intended ...