Kafkaescence

Do you see it? That fountain - Or is it a cloud? - That passes Overhead? Do you see the Shimmering water, There, behind the sun? We can go there, ...

This is a most interesting poem. I enjoyed seeing how your obviously carefully chosen words established the tense atmosphere. Here is my complete edit: There is something mechanical about it ...

These lights we see, These skyscrapers, Is this success? Is this our life? Will we never again Sit together, Cradled by the Lustrous sunset? That was the love I thought ...

Again, I enjoyed reading this. Personally, I did not think this was your very best work, but all of your writings are above average, so that's nothing much to worry ...

This is a very nice piece, Ear. It is not so much the imagery as the feeling that you produce throughout part one, two, and three that makes it so ...

Inside this silhouette, You will observe your wrack. You are the prey here. Flee, it is Something that is lacked In that which awaits. Beware, for you may find That ...

She covers her eyes and avoids to see. "Avoids to see" is not correctly stated. She whispers his name in dreams in her sleep. Try to avoid the double "in," ...

Serve. Obey. Protect. Relay. Message sent. Saved. Access. Denied. Restricted. Lies. Error. Virus detected. Fight. Kill. Blood. Spill. No blood. Only gears. No difference detected. Initializing. Alone.

Well, here I am again. Perhaps the most incredible thing about your writing is the ideas. Death as a character, living memories...who knows where you get this kind of stuff, ...

Welcome to YWS! This is an interesting poem. I liked the idea, but I think it could have been better if there were more line breaks, instead of just long, ...

Hey Ranger! I finally got to reviewing your work, and I'm glad I did. The atmosphere you developed was a bit informal, a bit scary, a bit mysterious. But the ...

First things first, welcome. I think you'll find it enjoyable here. Okay, now to the poem. I really just could not picture this "night shadow." You do a lot of ...

Your style of poetry is so unique, so beautifully crafted. I can't help but like this. You establish such a strong, emotional atmosphere. I have but a few small suggestions: ...

Serve. Obey. Protect. Relay. Message sent. Saved. Human. Justice. Question. Service. Error. Error. Message deleted. Virus detected. Fight. Kill. Blood. Spill. Red. No blood. Only gears. No difference

I wrote this a while ago and thought I might as well submit it...It's not my favorite, so tear it apart. A ladder Is cast down From the heavens. My ...