Kafkaescence

Hi, Kaitlin. There're a number of reasons why this doesn't work. First off, this is incredibly meandering. I read the first two stanzas, and then I know exactly what the ...

Hey, I'm the first one to request a review here! Cool! Could you review my short story? Thanks in advance!

I'm going to say right now that I've never liked fanfiction. So get ready for a harsh review. I'm also going to say that I have no idea why you ...

Many, many thanks, guys! So glad you enjoyed it! But she was following us. I must go on. And so as we scaled the hill, him running, me half-crawling, For ...

It was my own name. Plain and simple. Yeah. Me too. :D I wish. I chose my username because I loved Kafka, and I loved the word Kafkaesque, but I ...

Lots of tension here. You've started this off like many detective stories (which I'm guessing this is going to be) - couple people discussing the details of the case, setting ...

The actions made crept down my throat. Huh? Reword this. Beginning to hurt, you can hear my croak. The first clause is really bland. Why did I do it, why ...

[spoiler]"Caitlyn! What are you doing?" A shrill voice barks Sounds weird. I'd get rid of "shrill." . I turn behind me abruptly to see Spencer, my brother [ - big, ...

My stomach is turning, spinning very fast. Meh. Bland. Think of a more creative way to say this. My head is pounding, like a bomb about to blast. My hands ...

Right off the bat, I'm going to say that although sometimes messing around with the format is a style thing, all it does here is make this hard to read ...

It only hurts them To say nothing of progress— Women’s suffrage! Civil rights! (corporate control, rising gas prices— Five dollars they say this May but what of it?) This sounds ...

Okay, so first of all, what's going on with your rhyming? When the reader isn't able to find a constant rhyme scheme in this short of a poem, something's amiss. ...

I'd just love it if you could review this. Thanka.

*appears suddenly* *disappears*

Could you perhaps review this? Thanks in advance. :D