KJ

I didn't really understand anything of what was happening. I like a story where it just dives in... but I have to be able to grasp where I am and ...

Chapter Two 8 years later Sweat ran down her back. All her muscles were sore, and her cheek throbbed from the hard slap she'd received from her father. Rebecca wiped ...

It was okay. My favorite part of this whole thing was Awen's cigarette and how you placed it in the story. It was extremely reflective of her character, I felt, ...

I liked it. I wasn't bored, so that's a plus. The only part I really didn't like was when she thought that the boys only liked her for her body ...

Chapter One The candle in the window flickered. A cool breeze was slipping through the small cracks in the walls. A little girl lying in its path shivered. She slipped ...

I loved the descriptions and details. Points for originality, also. I don't think I've ever read something like this, so good for you.

It was interesting. I felt like there was something being said there that wasn't obvious, like poetry. Does need work, however. Just on the formatting, I think. It's a neat ...

Everyone else has got all the grammar errors down, so I won't bother. In general, I thought it was interesting. The first line grabbed my attention. But to be honest, ...

Wasn't attention grabbing. I got bored and to be honest, I didn't finish. Has potential, but needs work. Might want to add spacing between paragraphs.

This was... great. Great hook, great dialogue, great description, everything. It held my attention and for once I wasn't bored. I love these kind of stories. I eagerly await for ...

Wow, this was really short. It might have eventually caught my attention if there'd been more. As far as hooks go that wasn't too great, to be honest. There wasn't ...

Chapter Two A week passes. Nothing significant happens, and life goes on as dully as it ever has. Every day, however, Mom's taken to bugging me about seeing a counselor. ...

“You know I can't give you any ale. Your Pa would have my neck.” Mike said smiling. Mike was a big muscular man with a kind heart and a good ...

I really like your characters and how they develop in so short a time. The descriptions are great (I'm kind of jealous), and I could get into the story. The ...

I was not definitely not bored, and that's saying something. This has a ton of potential. But one thing I would've liked to be different is how you began the ...