KJ

Good. Mysterious, descriptive, decent dialogue, catching hook, and you left the reader wanting more. I liked it.

There were a ton of punctuation mistakes. I don't know if tat was just your machine getting funky or what but it was a little annoying. Anyway, to say something ...

This was good. Everyone else has the grammar and punctuation stuff covered so I won't waste my breath, er, finger energy. It was attention-catching, which is something I always like ...

To be completely honest, this is a boring and typical start. Nothing catches the attention, and it's too short to even get into what there is. I really have little ...

Hi. This piece was okay. It wasn't bad, but nothing struck me about it. There were a bunch of punctuation mistakes. You did this A LOT: "Eighth" You never put ...

I liked this. You did very well describing face expressions, and with your dialogue. I didn't find it boring, sappy, or over-dramatic, either. You go, writer!

I think that you did well expressing the teenage emotions, but other than that I was bored. Where is this going? You gave hardly anything to really give an opinion ...

Hey. You were very kind when you critiqued my work so I'll try and return the favor. This was well-written. What I liked most was Gabriel's cocky personality. And you ...

I'm not going to say anything on this poem, because I want people to interpret it the way they feel it should be. What do YOU think it is saying? ...

This was just experimental. I don't think I'm going to continue it, unless I get some positive feedback. So I hope you like what little there is! Chapter One An ...

This was awesome. The descriptions were perfect, and I was able to create a mental picture of the setting and your characters (Keith was my favorite). I also really liked ...

Interesting. I'm kind of wondering where you're going with this. The beginning was kind of too bright and chipper for me. Don't forget to go back and capitalize all those ...

Many mistakes; I'm sure you'll take care of those. But I found the part where the "vampyre" kicked the father and stalked off kind of.. weird. Why didn't he kill ...

Is it wrong to think that it's hilarious?

I don't think that I was given enough to really have an opinion on this. Your plot, what we've seen of it, has really only just begun. But what I ...