KJ

I thought it confusing and I really had no idea what was going on.

This was really good. The flow was awesome, and the language you used was deep and pretty. It almost sounds like a poem.

Nitpicks first. Come to us. Pull the trigger. Would look better in Italics. The thought made her laugh. Hysterically. Would be better as: The thought made her laugh hysterically. You ...

Don't have much time, but this was a pretty cool piece. I thought that it was very well written. Details were cool, too. You switched tenses between the two parts ...

Overall, this was captivating. It wasn't especially great, but it did have an interesting quality to it. I liked your descriptions. Needs spacing. I guess I have nothing else to ...

This was pretty good. I'm running out of time so I can't fully express my opinion but I wanted to post something here. Well-written and interesting.

Hey Ash. You did the period-instead-of-comma thing again. Now, I don't have any nitpicks because those were all covered. I guess I don't have anything negative to say. This chapter ...

Hey Ash. I'm glad that you finally posted this on here. Sorry it took so long for me to get around to. Anyway, I really liked it. The only thing ...

Really liked it. Found nothing to point out, I guess. (I was reading really quick--I'm short of time). Keep writing.

She was a slight but sturdy woman, with dark read hair and determined green eyes. "Red" instead of "read" he turned to his laptop, typed something hurriedly, then turned the ...

I liked this. Only thing is I would have put some more time between the boy with the cut on the elbow incident and the two kids coming to join ...

I liked the start of it. But then I felt like it got kind of weird. Isn't John an old man? And isn't he the one talking? I got confused, ...

I don't have time to properly review this, but I thought you would appreciate a comment. In my opinion, this was very well-written. I was interested, and the plot moved ...

It was okay. The was a couple things I didn't like, and one was how, in the beginning, you write as if you are speaking to the reader. I don't ...

I think that this should have been longer before you posted it. Even Prologue's aren't normally this short. What we've seen was... intriguing, I suppose, but there needs to be ...